Poem of Tears

Alone in the streets

Warm breeze swept the cheeks

Warm air surrounds

Coldness within

Busy people buzzle by

Yet lonesome felt within

Warm tears streaming down cheeks

Curious eyes check

Plenty of questions why

Yet all answers shy

Tears wonder why

Emotions never lie

Wish for wings to fly

Above the sky so high

Only soul knows why

The hearts never tie

Pain felt by the soul

No one knows the woes

Once beautiful the soul

Now ugly as the rampaged soil

Poem of Pain

Crying in the streets

Relief, hopes to seek

Relief of pain

Believe to gain

Growing is the pain

Self-inflicted injury is gained

Physical destruction to gain pain

Hoping to relieve emotional pain

The wound is bleeding

The heart is also bleeding

Physical blood felt bodily warm

Yet emotion blood felt icy cold

Walking to the end

Hoping to gain the sense

Strangely, the injury felt nothing

Yet, the pain of the wounded heart is growing

Pain, voluminous yet weightless

The volume rises while the weight dips

Pain, blinds my vision

Pain, deafens my hearing

Pain, dumbs my speech

Pain, numbs my nerves

Poem of Memories

My love once said "Everything passes away "

However, memories never pass away

Memories... A part of everyone

Memories... Live in everyone

Memories be built on love

Memories be built on hatred

A thin line separates

yet cast drastic effects

My memory of you was the birth of the love

Yet such beautiful memory was mudered by hatred

If all things should end

It should end with love

As it begins with love

My forgiving nature promotes your cruelty

The cruelty to crush every bit of loving memory to death

These memories, I so cherished once

These memories, so harmless and hard earned

These memories... I was willing to die for

Yet incapable to survive upon your punches

For them, I lived

For them, I believed

For them, I loved

Once upon a time, they were the only source to cheer me up

Today, they are the result of your heartless cruelty

Once, even in your absence, they brought me smiles

Now, in your silence, they brought me tears

My memory of honey, so tastily sweet

Now, it is as sour as the lemon may be

Love Others, Believe in Yourself

If no one in this wide world is confident enough to love me

If they always think I deserve more

If I am the only person who is able to love

I still, wish that everyone loves

If you can't love me, because you feel inadequate

If you can't figure out, you are holding the precious gift in your hands

Bestowed by God of love

If you can't recognise the good love you have found

If you are not able to feel happy about this love

If.. If.. You don't believe in yourself

No one could help

My wish is not to get people to love me

My wish is hope that everyone loves himself

If you are not able to love me, love yourself

If you can't find the motivation to drive you up

If you can't find the inspiration to pick you up

I am here, but do you want to consume me?

I can't force the food down your throat if you don't believe it will do you good

I remember my innocent smiles of my childhood

I want to retain that innoncence at heart

Now when I see a small child, I can't help feeling warm for them

Because... I was once like that..

Now, the only difference I have, is my grown up physical shell

My matured mind

But what about my heart, what about my psyche?

I can keep it as pure, as innoncent, as a child can be.

Inferior Complex

Since a child, I was never popular

The absence of cheerful character

The absence of sweet-talking skills

In comparison, my pretty sweet sister shone brightShe was a bright and sweet looking girl

Despite her mischevious behavior

She was popular

I was not jealous of her

I knew we were different

I started to acknowledge that I was not a lovable child

More certain when my grandma shown indifferent attitude towards me

Quiet as can be, I always walk behind mama

In sought of protection, in sought of love

Only much later in my childhood that I discovered...

Grandma hated me

Hated me for depriving her of my grandpa's attention

As innoncent as a child.. I was hurt by the unintentional hatred of adult

I was hated for something I was not capable of creating

I felt hatred for the first time

No matter how obedient and well-behaved I was, I could never reach grandma's heart

A little heart I had, I was a sensitive and sensible girl

I inquisite into mama, but mama simply put off that I was overly sensitive

The sarcastic remarks grandma frequently threw on me, hurt me deeply

Nights of silent tears came, only myself knew

I wondered why I couldn't be more lovable

I wondered if I was not obedient enough

I became quieter since

Greatest Pain

Coping with studies stress, work stress, could be tiring, but never painful.

Where physical lost doesn't equate emotional lost.

Physical handicap can be handled and overcame with a clutch, false limbs, hearing aids and others.

Where emotional handicap left the soul unattended and lifeless, leaving a souless physical shell of human body.

Physical pain is treated by drugs like painkiller, anesthetic medication..

Where emotional distress and suffering are the highest threshold level that any human may contain.

For lovers who have deep devotion for each other, dissecting a deceased is never painful as it's dead.

However, we are living, so loved, yet we are forced but circumstances to cut it up alive. To live with the pain, the bear the cut, to witness the lost. What can be more painful? Understanding the pain, we made a decision to process the operation... This is probably the greatest pain.

If life is full of choices, not all decisions will deliver best outcome. It's, however, a choice.

The bottom line is to consume the decision. Be it good or bad decision, tagged with each, consequences must come along. So, think well, make a decision, learn from it if it's not ideal. If decision is not reversible, review and hope to improve it.

Nothing in life is definite, what is definite is pride.

Always Good

I may not be the best perfect person alive

Yet, I still want to be always good

I appreciate and I wish to be appreciated

While you heard much of my stories

It may not be difficult to discover my weakness and strength

My weakness being my strength

Many a times, I was taken advantage and granted for my small kindness

The inability to bear a grudge and hold a hatred long enough

It saw me through as a friend worthwhile

Yet, it cost me much opportunities and root to much hurt

Strangely, till now, I am still what I was

I still can't bring myself to hate more than I could

The most I could do was to be oblivious

To cut myself away from being feeling

To be unfeeling towards the world movement around me

To isolate myself away from feelings and emotions

It didn't bring me far enough

I was not happy

I am only happiest when I could create happiness for others

Silly as I may seem to be

I still harbour hope that I would eventually leap on the harvest

I still believe that ultimately, I would be wealthy in spiritual mind and soul

After all, Life Is Soulful

Times after times, friends and lovers failed me

What can I say.. I allowed them to do that to me

I instilled the thinking to them that it's ok for them to fail me

Is it really ok? Doesn't it hurt? you may ask

The truth is.. I am always hopeful, that they all will see one day that it's not ok

It hurts badly each time

Yet each time, I can't bring myself to hate them

Because I, allowed them to do so

But, what can I change?

That's my best comfortable behavior and mindset

To lose hope and faith in people, equate to throwing away the essense of life, the essense of love

What good does an empty shell does, then?

If I can only find true love in the the mixture of great pain, I accept it

If I can only seek true love in the many stabs in heart, I receive it

For only continual sought for true love, may true love be found