Dream of Own Death

I had a dream of my own death.

It was a long dream, with a clear story line knitted on.

It started with me being dead, but yet, not completely dead. Somewhat, I managed to get an extension of 2 weeks' grace time on earth.

3/4 of the dream was on the process of the 2 weeks, that I lived life normally. I attended my classes as normal, do all the normal things, as if I wasn't going to die.

Then it came the eve of my actual death. The backdrop of the dream was my old flat which I once lived. At the ground floor, was a stretch of kindergarten rooms. In the night, the rooms were utilized by other community activities (this was real, in my memory, these rooms were indeed for community usage in the nights).

This night, I saw my trainer (from present study) outside one of the rooms, asking me to do another health examination, which he declined to explained the context of the examination. It would cost me $6 though.

I filled up the slip he passed to me, and led him upstairs to my home (my previous home at Boon Lay). It was then that daunted me that I was going to die the next day. Why would I still need a health examination?

Apparently, there was another person who was dead, and in the dream, I knew I would be cremated/buried with this person. (an aged man, who was already dead, unlike me, extended from death time) This person was someone my family member knew too. I checked with my mother and sister when was the aged man going to be buried. The time was 3pm the next day.

The dream was vivid to me, even in my waking moment now. The main focus was the eve of my death, and it was in the night.

I went back in to my room, and paid my trainer the $6, while he was seated in my room, listening to me. He was still in the state of astonishment. I explained to him, about the 2 weeks' extension. He was bewildered, and puzzled, apparently with doubts too.

As the clock ticked, and I was nearing my own death every single tick of the time, I knew my physical body would experience changes. I showed him my hands (in the dream, it seemed I was already well aware what was going to happen), which were turning darker, especially in the nails.

I started to weep.. I wept because I didn't spend the 2 weeks bidding goodbye to many other friends. In my dream, I missed my friends, those I hadn't contacted for a long time, or recent friends whom I was close with. I wondered if I was in the denial mode during the 2 weeks, that I lived life normally.. until, the reality hit me.

There were so many people I wanted to bid my last farewell with. Flashbacks of images of my friends came upon my mind. I felt so apologetic towards them. I was sorry I didn't make proper use of the 'left over' time I was given.

Then, I started to let go of what I clanged on. I knew there wasn't much I could do then. The time was approaching me. I ready for my death...

Strange dream.. Yet a message that I probably should start bidding goodbye, we don't know when we are departing, so as we greet hello, we should also ready goodbye.